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SAAM-Webinar-4-April..
www.pavingtheway.net
Shatter the silence of sexual violence!
Sexual Assault
Awareness Month
2012
Healthy Relationships, Reporting &
Shattering The Silence 101
April IS
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Overview
• Brief review Definitions and Stats
• Healthy Relationships
• Unhealthy Relationships
• Healthy Relationships & Consent
• The Importance of Reporting
• Barriers to Reporting
• Why Report
• How to Report
• The Decision to Not Report
• Reporting On Campus
• Shattering the Silence 101
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Sexual Violence - Any act sexual in nature, whether
verbal or physical, that breaks a person’s trust,
violates their safety, or impedes upon their sexual
autonomy. Sexual violence includes and is not limited
to sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape. It
also does not specify a gender or age and can be
understood to encompass domestic violence or any
violence based on one’s sexual identity.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Consent: Sexual activity requires consent, which is
defined as clear, unambiguous, and voluntary agreement
between the participants to engage in specific sexual
activity. Consent cannot be inferred from the absence of a
"no"; a clear "yes," verbal or otherwise, is necessary.
• Although consent does not need to be verbal, verbal
communication is the most reliable form of asking for and gauging
consent, and individuals are thus urged to seek consent in verbal
form. Talking with sexual partners about desires and limits may
seem awkward, but serves as the basis for positive sexual
experiences shaped by mutual willingness and respect.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• Consent Definition Continued:
• Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is asleep or
otherwise mentally or physically incapacitated, whether due
to alcohol, drugs, or some other condition. Consent cannot
be obtained by threat, coercion, or force. Agreement given
under such conditions does not constitute consent.
• Consent must be clear and unambiguous for each participant
throughout any sexual encounter. Consent to some sexual acts
does not imply consent to others, nor does past consent to a given
act imply ongoing or future consent. Consent can be revoked at
any time. For all of these reasons, sexual partners must evaluate
consent in an ongoing fashion and should communicate clearly
with each other throughout any sexual encounter.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats
• 1 in 4 women will be
and 1 in 6 men will be
sexually assaulted
before the age of 18.
(USDOJ)
• Girls 16-19 are 4x
more likely to
experience a rape
• 12% of girls and 5%
of boys in high school
have been sexually
assaulted
• 93% knew the
perpetrator
(www.rainn.org)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
Unhealthy Relationships
Healthy Relationships & Consent
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Unhealthy Relationships
• Unhealthy relationships can be
precursors for sexual assault and
dating violence
• Pay attention to the warning signs
• Both men and women can be abusers
in unhealthy relationships
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Early Warning Signs of Dating Violence
Controlling
Extreme Jealousy
Manipulative
Explosive Anger
Low Self-Esteem
Unpredictable Mood Swings
Drug & Alcohol Use
Possessiveness
Push for a Quick Relationship
Gender Stereotyping
Abusive in Past
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Intimidation
Emotional
Abuse
Coercion
Unhealthy
Relationship
Economic
Abuse
Isolation
www.kariscandleofhope.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Type of
Violence
Verbal Abuse
What It
Means
•Behavior that
causes harm
with words
How It Works
•Name calling
•Insults
•Public humiliation
•Yelling
Psychological •Behavior
•Threats, intimidation
& Emotional
intended to
•Put-downs
Abuse
cause
•Telling a person’s secrets
psychological or •Jealousy
emotional
•Possessiveness
distress
•Isolating a person from
friends & family
•Destroying gifts, clothing,
letters
•Damaging a car, home, or
other prized possessions
Early Warning Signs
•Teasing that includes
insults
•Pouting when you
spend time with your
friends
•Threatening to leave
you in an unsafe
location
•Trying to control what
you do
Physical Abuse •Behaviors that •Slapping, hitting
•Going into a rage when
inflict harm on a •Shoving, grabbing
disappointed
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
person
•Hair pulling, biting
•Teasing, tripping,
Shatter
the silence of sexual violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
•Throwing objects
pushing
www.pavingtheway.net
•Threatening to injure
Dating Violence Quiz
Does Your Partner…?
• Isolate you from friends you had before you
began dating?
• Frequently embarrass you or make fun of you in
front of other people?
• Use intimidation to make you do what he/she
wants?
• Make you feel there is “no way out” of the
relationship?
• Make you perform sexual acts that you don’t
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
enjoy (against your will)?
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Dating Violence Quiz
Does Your Partner…?
• Threaten you with force, words, or
weapons?
• Use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for
saying hurtful things or abusing you?
• Get extremely anger frequently, and you
don’t understand why?
• Not believe he/she has hurt you or blame
you for what he/she has done?
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios
1. Kevin is walking in the school hallway with his
friends and sees his girlfriend at her locker with her
friends. When he goes up to her, she gives him a
cold look and says loudly, “I don’t know why I even
bother with you, loser! I guess I just keep you around
because I feel sorry for you.” Kevin feels frustrated
because he doesn’t know what he did and
embarrassed because his friends saw his girlfriend
put him down.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios
2. Jenny and Mike have lunch in the cafeteria with
their friends. They start teasing each other, but
then the playing turns to insults. Mike sees that
Jenny is upset but doesn’t stop. When Jenny gets
up and says, “Get away from me, I hate you,”
Mike says, “Shut up” and slaps her across the
face.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios
3. Tony and Emily have been going out for a few
weeks, and he is beginning to act like he owns her.
He complains when she spends time with her best
friend- or anyone except him. He expects her to meet
him in the halls between classes, eat lunch with him,
let him go home with her after school, and be with
him every weekend. Afraid she’ll lose him, Emily
begins to cut herself off from her friends.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios
4. Christine and Allison are in an intense
argument. Christine gets madder and madder,
until she finally grabs Allison, shakes her, and
shoves her against the wall. Later, Christine
apologizes, saying, “I’m not proud I lost my
temper, but you really pushed my buttons. You
should know better than to get up in my face like
that, because you know I get too angry to control
myself.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios
5. Juan and Maria, who have been going out for a
few weeks, are making out. Maria has been clear
that she doesn’t want to go any further than
kissing, but Juan becomes aggressive,
disregarding her request to slow down and back
off. He forces her to have sex, and later tells her
she was a tease and was asking for it.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Clues Someone Maybe Experiencing
Dating Violence
• Physical Signs of
• Changes in Mood or
Injury
• Dropping Out of
School or Missing
School Frequently
• Failing Grades
• Indecision
Personality
• Use of Drugs/Alcohol
• Pregnancy
• Emotional Outbursts
• Isolation
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How to Help a Friend
• If you’re worried, say something
• Listen, support, and believe them
• Help your friend take action
• Encourage them to get help and get
out
• Call in reinforcements
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Ending an Unhealthy Relationship
• Remember: No one deserves to be abused
• Know that: It is never the victim’s fault
• Talk to someone you can trust
• Get medical attention if you have been
physically harmed
• Seek safety at your local shelter if needed
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
Shatter the silence of sexual violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
www.pavingtheway.net
Ending an Unhealthy Relationship
• Get out. Abusive relationships
usually get worse over time
• If the relationship is hurting you, it’s OK to
break up
• Get your friends or their friends involved.
• If you feel threatened, make sure to have
someone present during the break-up
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Respect
Honesty
Fairness
Healthy
Relationship
Support
Trust
www.kariscandleofhope.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Absence of a NO
Consent:
Click here to watch a short clip on CONSENT
by acclaimed film maker Denice Ann Evans
More info – visit: www.CollegeHookUpCulture.com
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
THE
IMPORTANCE OF
REPORTING
Barriers to Reporting
Why Report
How to Report
The Decision to Not Report
Reporting On Campus
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Barriers to Reporting
www.RAINN.org
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Barriers to Reporting
• Why don't more people report their rape?
• The most common reason given by victims (23%) is that
the rape is a "personal matter." Another 16% of victims
say that they fear reprisal, while 6% don't report
because they believe that the police are biased.
• Second Victimization
• Victims of Color, Immigrant victims, LGBTQ Victims &
other underserved populations have greater barriers
• Fear of damaging relationships with family and friends
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Barriers to Reporting
• Legal system mitigates non stranger rape
• Law enforcement lack trauma training and often re•
•
•
•
victimize when collecting evidence
Offender sanctions inconsistent and often minimal
DNA Evidence and the Consent Defense
Jury in trials have misconceptions about sexual violence
– victim blaming.
Because of all of these realities, many victims feel that
reporting is just too time consuming and retraumatizing…i.e. not worth it.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Why Report?
• Reporting to the police is the key to
preventing sexual assault: every time we lock
up a rapist, we're preventing him or her from
committing another attack. It's the most effective
tool that exists to prevent future rapes. In the end,
though, whether or not to report is your decision
to make.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Why Report?
• Reporting is a way to empower oneself and
protect others from future harm. Sexual
assault has often been labeled a silent crime
since many victims feel they cannot speak out
against what happened. There are a variety of
reasons for this silence, which include but are not
limited to: fear of not being believed, fear of being
blamed, confusion about what constitutes sexual
assault, having been harmed by someone they
know or love, etc.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Why Report?
• Sexual offenders who are not caught often go on
to perpetrate more crimes:
• Undetected rapists have an average of 5.8 victims. The 120
rapists in one study (Lisak, 2002) were responsible for “1,225
separate acts of interpersonal violence, including rape,
battery, and child physical and sexual abuse” and were still
walking the streets.
• Sexual violence may not be limited to one victim
or one occurrence. While victims go through so
much with their own recovery after an assault, finding
the courage to break the silence of their victimization
the Silence of Sexual Violence!
may save others from the same Shatter
harm.
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Making the Decision to Report
• Seek support from friends and/or family
• Know your rights as a victim: find out victim rights in
your state at the National Organization for Victim’s
Assistance
• Be as prepared as you can to tell your story: you will
be asked about details, and so be prepared to talk
about your assault
• It helps to write down every detail you can remember,
as soon as possible, so you can communicate the
details to the police.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How Do I Report?
• Call 911 (or ask a friend to call) to report your
rape to police.
• Or, visit a hospital emergency room or your
own doctor and ask them to call the police for
you.
• It is recommended you report within the police
district the assault occurred in or other
appropriate agencies at your institution. If it is not
possible to report under the jurisdiction it
occurred in, please call or go to your local police
station or Rape Crisis Center to
see if they may
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
able to help by taking the case or referring
it on.
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How Do I Report?
• In most cases, the police will come to you and take a
statement about what occurred.
• In addition to taking a statement, police will collect
physical evidence.
• The police interview may take as long as several
hours, depending on the circumstances of your case.
Some questions will probably feel intrusive, and the
officer will probably go over the details of your attack
several times. The extensive questioning isn't
because the police don't believe you; it is the officer's
job to get every detail down precisely, to make the
strongest possible case against Shatter
yourtherapist.
Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
How Do I Report?
• Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner:
• If you visit the ER and tell the nurse you have been
raped, the hospital will generally perform a sexual
assault forensic examination. This involves collecting
evidence of the attack, such as hairs, fluids and fibers,
and preserving the evidence for forensic analysis. In
most areas, the local rape crisis center can provide
someone to accompany you, if you wish. Call
1.800.656.HOPE to contact the center in your area.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Deciding Not to Report
• You are not legally obligated to report. The
decision is entirely yours, and everyone will
understand if you decided not to pursue
prosecution.
• You should be aware that the district attorney's office
retains the right to pursue prosecution whether or not
you participate, though it is uncommon for them to
proceed without the cooperation of the victim. There are
also times when a third party, such as a doctor or
teacher, is required to report to authorities if they
suspect sexual abuse of a child, or an elderly or
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
disabled person.
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Deciding Not to Report
• Many victims say that reporting is the last thing
they want to do right after being attacked. That's
perfectly understandable — reporting can seem
invasive, time consuming and difficult.
• Reporting is a very personal decision, and you
should make the decision that's right for you. If
you decide not to report, for whatever reason,
that's perfectly understandable and there's no
reason to feel bad about your decision.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
Shatter the silence of sexual violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
www.pavingtheway.net
Reporting Resources
• National Hotline Number: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
• Most local crisis centers have staff trained to help you
through the reporting process. They can answer your
questions and, if necessary, advocate on your behalf. To
reach your local crisis center, call 1.800.656.HOPE
(4673).
• National Sexual Assault Online Hotline
https://ohl.rainn.org/online/
• State Resources http://www.rainn.org/get-help/localcounseling-centers/state-sexual-assault-resources
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Reporting on Campus
• 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted
during her time on campus
• 95% of Campus Assaults go unreported
• Of REPORTED Assaults:
• Only 7% of assaults result in arrest
• Less than 3% result in convictions
• After a Sexual Assault, it is important to
Know Your Rights and Know Your Options
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
on Campus
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Campus Sexual Assault Victims Rights
• You have the right:
• To be safe and free from a hostile environment
• To be protected from sexual harassment and
assault
• To take legal action when a crime has been
committed against you
• To work and communicate with the police,
campus officials and the prosecutor
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Campus Sexual Assault Victims Rights
• You Have the right:
• To be notified of counseling and other support
services on campus or locally
• To make reasonable changes in academic and living
situations
• To have the same opportunity as the accused to have
others present in any disciplinary proceedings
• To be unconditionally notified of the final results of any
institutional disciplinary proceeding
• To have your name kept confidential
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Campus Sexual Assault Victims Options
• You have the option to:
• Pursue campus disciplinary charges
• Pursue criminal charges
• Pursue both campus and criminal charges
• Report the assault but choose not to pursue
charges
• Report anonymously
• Do none of the above (You are still entitled to seek
support)
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
SHATTERING THE
SILENCE 101
How to engage in the primary
prevention of sexual violence in your
community.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
TALK ABOUT IT!
• Speak UP
• Speak OUT
• Speak OFTEN
• Parents
• Talk to your kids about it
• Make sure your kids health class covers sexual violence
• Professionals
• Make sure your school, nonprofit or company has sexual violence
policies
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Raise Awareness
• Host awareness events & campaigns in your
communities
• Poster/ Public art campaigns
• Put awareness posters in your dorm, high school,
workplace or even your local bar
• Social Media Campaigns
• Post statistics and awareness messages on your
facebook or twitter feed
• Donate or volunteer with your local Coalition or Rape
Crisis Center – get your friends or partner involved too!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Help A Survivor
Studies show that the first person a survivor
tells… If that person reacts well, it can
greatly help the healing process!
Review the SAAM Supporting a Survivor
Webinar from April 11th or seek resources
on the PAVE Website
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Be an Active Bystander
• Trust your Gut! If you think something is wrong, it
•
•
•
•
•
probably is.
Speak up if you see someone intentionally getting
someone drunk to coerce sexual consent
Say something when people are disrespectful
Remind friends that sexual contact with an intoxicated
person is against the law
Watch for the warning signs of unhealthy relationships in
your friends and family members
If you see something, Step IN!
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
SHARE RESOURCES!
• If you are a professional in the field, share resources (like
these slides) with anyone who you think would benefit
from them!
• Your local Rape Crisis Center
• Your local middle school, high school or college
• Local youth organizations like Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, YoungLife,
club sports teams, church youth groups
• Local nonprofits and shelters (YMCA/ YWCA, etc.)
• Your statewide coalition against sexual assault and domestic
violence
• Community organizations, churches, etc.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
A Mantra for the Movement!
We support all survivors of violence, abuse, and
trauma.
We pledge to take care of our campus
community, but also take care of ourselves.
It is up to us to be the voice for those who have
been silenced by sexual violence!
It starts with us, it starts today.
Together, we CAN make a difference.
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
We want you on board!
This is just the beginning! Learn about how you can get
involved and get continuous updates and resources for
your primary prevention program by staying connected with
PAVE.
ACTION LIST:
①Sign up for PAVE’s Email Action alerts on
website www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
②Follow PAVE on twitter, @PAVEInfo
③Like us on Facebook @
http://www.facebook.com/PromotingAwareness
VictimEmpowerment
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Resources for Primary Prevention
① Security On Campus, Inc: www.SecurityonCampus.org
② Get Help - 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656③
④
⑤
⑥
⑦
⑧
⑨
HOPE
Male Survivors: www.1in6.org and www.MaleSurvivor.org
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
www.nsvrc.org
Redefining Masculinity: www.MasculinityU.com
www.CollegeHookUpCulture.com
www.livethegreendot.com
RESPONSE ABILITY Project www.RAProject.org
Don’t forget your local SA& DV Coalitions, rape crisis
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
organizations and counseling centers!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
That’s it for today folks!
• Questions or comments?
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org/
SAAM
Want these slides?
Email
[email protected]
Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!
www.ShatteringTheSilence.org
Fly UP